Sunday, November 20, 2011

Sweet Mama Gail

1964 Wedding Day

Christmas 1982

Christmas 1986

Juliebelle's first birthday 2003
Anthony, Juliebelle and Grandma Gail Summer of 2003

As I look at these pictures, for the fiftieth time, I remember my Mom's smile.  These pictures are all of her before her stroke.  After her stroke, her smile was stolen from her, along with many other wonderful attributes.  So this is how I choose to remember her.

Her obituary reads HERE.

I never understood the magnitude of losing a parent, let alone a mother, until now.  I know my daily life will move on and I will accomplish the things I know I was meant to, but I have a strong inclination my heart will always hurt.
I never mentioned much of my Mom after her stroke in 2004.  That's because the stroke stole her.  It stole the gentle, kind, respectful woman I grew to know and love.  It stole my real mother.  What was left behind was a shell full of anger, unreasonable behavior, and a woman not capable of love, especially to her grandchildren; who in fact were her everything at one point.  
When I think about her, somehow God gives me the ability to only think about her pre-stroke.  I only see her smile, hear her tender voice, and feel her gentle hand.  I thank Him for these memories.  
I also thank Him for not leaving me bitter and filled with  awful emotions with what has occurred.  I'm joyous rather, that she gets to spend the rest of her eternity with Jesus.  I know my stay here is only temporary and I will be reunited with her soon.  I just wish the hands of time would tick a little faster.

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