Friday, January 27, 2012

Friday Rant

I have today's post possible, thanks to my adoring husband.  
Before he and I met, I was a habitual tailgater, speeder, and world's most aggressive driver.  Not so anymore.  I would get threatened by him that I better quit my erratic driving behavior because we were going to lose our "Good Driver Discount."  You can't scream 80 year any louder with that driver title.
Some time has passed.  I'm now referred to as a grandma that same man.  Yes, my hands are always ten and two.  Yes I drive  the exact posted speed limit.  And yes, the back of my driver's seat is probably in need of a slight recline, but so what!?  He's going to make fun of me when I'm not putting his "discount" in jeopardy?  Now that you have a little history on my driving background, let my rant begin!!

"Hey you, Mom in the mini van.  And you, the Mom in the Suburban.  And oh Lord YOU, the 2C (Caldwell) and 1G (Emmett) drivers.  Get off my a**!!!"

This is a natural occurring phrase I must have with myself everyday I drive the kids to school.  You see, the kids are going to a school out of our district until the 2012-2013 school year.  We have them on the North Star Charter waiting list.  And until then, they are going to a Meridian school which is about ten miles, or twenty-five minutes from our house.
I load the kids into the car at the same time, leave the house at the same time, drive the same route, and somehow I can't shake my frustration.
I drive through a total of three school zones by the time the kids are dropped off.  The school zone speed limit is 20 MPH.  And yes, my tail goes 20 MPH.  
My frustration being...tailgaters, speeders, and drivers who have absolutely no patience! I'm sorry dude in the 2C car and the lady applying makeup while driving in the 1G car, that you two chose to live so damn far out in the county so you could get more "house for your money," and now you're going to be late for work because I'm in front of you.
And I'm sorry Mom in the mini van or Mom in the big a** Suburban that your kids through a tantrum this morning while forcing them to go to school, and now you're going to be late because I'm in front of you.
And I'm terribly sorry you teenage punk, driving some car your parents belong driving, but somehow you ended up with the car because you're a spoiled brat, are going to be late to high school because I'm driving in front of you.  School started an hour ago, why aren't you there already?

Actually I'm not sorry.  I'm not sorry when I have to drive just a bit slower because the above mentioned are up my a** so far I can't even see the front grill of their car.  I'm not sorry as I know you are irritating me with your poor driving habits and I'm just driving this way now, to make you a little more upset.

Point being you poor drivers that irritate me, frustrate me, and make me want to see you leave the road,
"Plan more time in the mornings for your commute please."
I realize there are mornings that seem to fall apart on you.  You are destined to have late mornings here and there.  But I drive the same route weekly, same time, and I encounter the same irritating people each time.

And so far, due to my driving skills, I am proud without a doubt to say, we have kept our "Good Driver's Discount."  It's still going strong!

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