"The bond that links your true family is not one of blood, but of respect and joy in each other's life."- Richard David Bach
Thursday, October 11, 2012
I have several, too many in fact, blogs that I follow religiously. Most of them are the cookie cutter blogs that talk about how wonderful and perfect their lives are with their respectable, straight A, honorable, children they have. How their husbands are always doing/saying the right things, girl's night out is more than twice a month, and how really, life is "perfect" for them.
I would read these blogs daily and start to get a sense that my life was one big train wreck. One big failure. And one long road that I was going to have to endure with such pitfalls.
But then I realized that, "NO!" Life isn't as perfect as they are painting it out to be. They have problems too, just like we all do. They have struggles too. And I'm damn certain, their kids aren't always "model perfect" like they want us to believe.
As we mothers and wives sit behind our computer screens and type away our words, we can be guarded...too guarded. Why? Well, let's take me for example. I am guilty of all the above mentioned. I paint my life out to be "more than perfect" at times. Why? Because I feel we all have this need, want, and desire to have it that way. Why do I want to stoop so low as to tell you, my blog readers, that I had a bad day? That I dislike the things my husband does, or even, that my 6th grade son is going to be the death of me. Because I'm afraid you'll judge me. I'm afraid you'll look into the soul of my life, my family's life, and never want to come back.
But wait! When there have been blogs I've read, one in particular, that when this woman, mom, and wife writes, I hang on to every word she says. She puts it all out there. She tells the world of her need of Prozac. Her need to have her kids behave and respect her more. And she even tells us readers how choppy her marriage is at times. After I get done reading her post, I don't judge her. I don't even say to myself, "Ugh, this woman's an emotional wreck...God help her."
What I do feel is empathy for her. And I feel a sense of huge relief actually. The fact that there's a woman, mom, and wife who is struggling in life and brave enough to write about it? Strong enough to put herself out there and be "real?" That's what I personally respect in her as a writer and woman.
But can someone put too much out there? Sure, it's possible. You do need a sense of filter when it comes to your family's dignity, for all members at stake.
My point being: We all struggle. We all have pitfalls in life. Why not talk about them, let others find solutions for our rough patches, (or at least offer some kind words our way) and why not get away from behind the curtain?
I know that I am in dire need of some writing therapy at times. I mean come on here! I am raising three children as a result of a broken marriage. And unfortunately, Lucas, Steve, and Baby D are all negatively disturbed by my past choices. Not to mention my extended family as well.
I know the choices I've made have created my situation at this very point, but I'm trying. I'm trying to take it all in with a little bit of stride, tact, (which I'm known to have little of at times) and all while remembering God is in control.
For now, I will promise to do, be, and say what I want and expect from others. And yes, that entails my posts may get more fibrous than in the past.
And when you stumble upon those words of mine, please just remember a few things. Please don't judge. Please take into consideration that you're not perfect either. And maybe, just maybe, have a little bit of empathy. And if you can't muster the empathy, maybe your sympathy. You'd be amazed at how you just might feel. :)