Thursday, March 7, 2013
I'm surrendering. Not because I want to, oh no, but because I feel I have to.
I'm tired of the pain it puts me through. I'm exhausted of the turmoil it's doing to me. And I'm becoming too anxious wondering if it'll ever stop.
I'm talking about the dreaded mastitis that I've gotten for the third and final time.
Yes, I did just have a bout of it that came on Valentine's day. Yes, it was only three short weeks ago that I was cursed with it again. But this time? This time made me realize I cannot do it any longer.
Of course I get stricken when Steve returns to work for two days. It requires him to take time off, which isn't always so easy. And of course it strikes when I have all five kids.
It's debilitating to my body. It puts me in extreme pain which includes severe body aches, (think your worst flu-like body aches) chills, fever of 102-104, and headaches that won't go away. Oh yeah, and a sore breast that develops a glorious lump the size of a golf ball, that if touched, sends me to the moon!
I'm so saddened to have to discontinue nursing my baby. It saddens me because I know nursing him is what's best for him and his long term health. It also saddens me because that was "our" time together. But I also know what it does to me if I continue. And what it does to my family to have to see their mom constantly in bed and in pain.
I'll get over it. Yeah, I know I will. I guess I need to find the positive in this situation. And that being...Steve can help with the feedings more and I can gain a piece of me back.
Posted by The Hayes Family at 3:12 PM