Wednesday, September 25, 2013

Lesson Learned

Not being properly prepared for your day can really wreak havoc on a person.  Real havoc!

Let me give you the preface to my story first.

I wake up on school days (I'm a mom, like school in session vs. no school matters, but work with me here) and roll out of bed.  I wash my face, put my contacts in, and if those around me are lucky enough, I'll slap a bra on under my t-shirt.  

I head into the kitchen to turn the coffee pot on, make a bottle for the child who screams in the other room as if his life is ending, and gather the kids' lunch bags.  As I hand the bottle to said mentioned kid who is shaking in delight, I pour a cup of coffee.  Ahh, the burn to the lips and palate...never fails!  As I murmur unkind words under my breath, I head to the fridge to grab the jelly.  As I make their sandwiches for the day, a little voice - known as my girls' voices, pop into my head.
"Peanut butter and jelly again Mom?"
"Yep, PB&J again, or you can eat nothing," is my usual response.  They opt for the PB&J.
After the sandwiches are made, crybaby has finished his bottle and is wanting my attention.  I walk over to him with coffee cup in hand and try to pick him up. I realize I'm dumb and set my cup down first.  I place child in his highchair and go retrieve my cup in the living room.  Child cries at this point because he thinks I'm going to abandon him for good.  I quickly walk back into the kitchen so he'll stop screaming; I don't want to wake up the other kids upstairs.  Well scratch that.  Lucas comes downstairs and rubbing his eyes asks for food.  I feed him a yogurt, which he proceeds to spill on the floor, all over the stool he's sitting on, and even manages to smear it all into himself in the process.  I grab a towel without letting my son clearly hear my murmured words.  I'm trying to set a good example with my own words, so if he can't understand what's coming out of my mouth due to the low volume, I've still lead by example.
After yogurt is cleaned up, abandoned child is happily eating his third handful of Cheerios, I go to take a swig of my coffee.  Well shoot, it's cold now.  I go to top it off to warm it up and stub my toe on the way.  Murmuring words continue.

The girls meander on down the stairs for their breakfast.  They of course don't ask for the same menu item.  Miss Lauren requests toast no crust.  She gets toast with crust.  And Juliebelle asks for toast anyway I make it.  She's 11, she has had more time on this planet with me.  She's learned.  After Lauren makes her ugly faces while peeling her crust off, Juliebelle rushes to beautify her 11 year old self for school.  Meanwhile, Lauren still has her ugly face on but I notice her ugly look now is adorned with dried slobber from the night before, and her eyes have been visited one too many times by Mr. Sandman.  How I missed the details the first time I spotted her is still a mystery.  Maybe I glanced at her longer due to the ugly unhappy face she was making because her mom's awful, uncaring, and just plain too lazy to trim the crust off behavior.  Whatever the reason, I tell her to finish up so she can wash her face before school.  Somehow her ears heard, "Lauren please, whatever you do, mess around as much as you can and make your mom upset."

The clock reads 8:05 at this point.  I still have to dress Lucas, make sure the lunches that will more than likely go to waste are made, make sure I look presentable, and yell at the girls to get their acts together another 50 times before we're able to leave.  

As we finally get ourselves ready to go out the door, Steve walks in from the shop.  He loads the boys into the car, I grab my coffee cup, filled with cold coffee again, and try to tell the girls to get into the car without yelling...a trait I'm so desperately trying to work on.  I fail yet again when the girls aren't listening to me talk at a nice decibel.  
As we're in the car heading to drop Lucas off at school, I realize Steve's driving without shoes.  Who does that?  Isn't that against the law?  And besides, how do you expect to manage the brake pedal with just your toes?  As we pull up to the drop off, we realize they shut down right at 9am.  It's 9:01...they mean business.  That means we have to walk Lucas in now.  Well Steve can't do it - he's barefoot.  I'll just do....oh wait!  I decided I was too tired to put my bra on this morning.  I have a white t-shirt on, no bra...I'm sure it would be frowned upon taking my son into class like that.  Julie!  Julie's in the car.  I tell her to take him in.  She has no idea where to go.  I give her instructions.  She comes back out three minutes later, no Lucas, but with a teacher.  The teacher walks up to my window, probably murmuring her own words to me about why my 11 year old is bringing him in vs. me, and proceeds to tell me that he doesn't have a lunch.  I automatically get excited for the Mother of the Year award I know she's just dying to hand me.  I state that I'm sorry and I'll make sure and get it to him before lunch.  She smiles at me fakely (is fakely even a word?) and turns around in a huff and enters back into the school.  This school is Challenger people.  Parents that send their children to this school have their acts together.  Not only do they pay tuition, but they drive expensive cars, wear expensive clothes, probably are fluent in three languages, and the moms wear bras.  I.just.don'  But that's really, it's okay!

Steve and I are laughing hysterically at this point.  I'm sure the teacher's not.  She probably is reviewing his school chart and questioning why they allowed him to be enrolled based off of his parent's inability to get dressed properly in the morning.  I thanked Juliebelle for her willingness to take him to his class.  We dropped the girls off at school and while waiting in the car line, I started to sweat.  Oh my goodness.  What if I need to get out of this car for something?  What if Steve needs to?  I can't possibly embarrass anymore of my kids today.  Whew, no reason to have to exit the car. 

As we pulled into the garage I had to laugh.  I had to laugh at how foolish I was.  I had to laugh at my lesson learned.  I now put a bra on first thing in the morning.


  1. This story totally made me laugh out loud. I can just picture you sitting in the car trying to figure out what to do and then having the teacher come out and talk to you. Its just so nice to see other moms out there struggle with the most random daily things. Magnolia's class has color day when the kids are supposed to dress in the color of the day. Last week I thought it was yellow. She was dressed head to toe in yellow. We got to school and realized it was red day and the next day was yellow. She was horrified. Oops! Getting dressed can be such a daunting task!

  2. Oh no! I bet the teachers were looking at Magnolia and wondering why her mother was so messed up, LOL! Unfortunately when our children have bad days, melt downs, incorrect grammar, etc., it's us moms who get the brunt force of it all. Hopefully we can all just realize it's part of the way things will go being mothers and laugh about it. Otherwise, we're in a heap on the floor 90% of our days!