Monday, November 18, 2013

Celebrating Your Life

Two years have passed since the passing of my mom.  
I decided to curl up on my closet floor and pull out the memory box of her.  I guess I needed a good cry, because that's what I got.

As I read through the cards, notes, and letters I received the days, weeks, and months after her passing, it made me realize how far I've come.  
When she first died, I read the words that friends and family had written down on the cards.  I remember reading their words and crying even harder.  As I was reading their heartfelt words of sympathy, I never thought I'd get over her, get over the feeling of despair, nor get over the feeling of utter hopelessness knowing I had just lost my best friend and mother.
But sitting on the floor the other day, I re-read their words.  And as I closed each card and placed in back into the memory box, I smiled as the tears fell.  I smiled as I read, she's with me always, she'll never stop loving me, or even, I now have an angel of my own.

At the time of her death, I wasn't able to hear their messages because of the grief in my heart.  But after two years, I re-opened that grief and stared it right in the face.  And what I found instead was comfort.  Comfort knowing that time does help, time does make the sting less, and that time does move on in the world around me, whether I'm ready for it or not.
Two years isn't too long when you look at the big picture, but it's long enough for me to realize that I was blessed, am blessed, and will continue to be blessed by having her in my life.  I miss her dearly, but I'm so thankful I have the comfort of knowing how fortunate I was and am to have had a mother as great as her.  And I'm so blessed to finally be able to realize the gift she truly was to me, as well as to the others she impacted.
Time does help heal.  But what time has allowed me to do is see the good in life.  My mother may be misplaced from me right now, but time has been the driving force in allowing me to see all of the good she was, more clearly now.  Until our reunion, I welcome time.  I welcome time and the greatness and healing it has to offer my heart and spirit.