Thursday, October 9, 2014

Halloween Is Upon Us

It’s officially fall in Idaho.  I can tell by not only the cooler nights, leaves changing colors, and school is in full force with my kids, but everywhere I look, turn, and step, I’m reminded Halloween is upon us. 

With the ghouls n’ goblins time of year so imminent, there’s so much to take in with its festivities.
For starters, you have the pumpkin patches enhanced with the never-ending corn mazes.  How perfect to spend all afternoon picking out the suitable pumpkins, jumping hay bales, snapping pictures of my children’s toothless grins, gorging on kettle corn, all to have in the end, a sobbing, mourning, sorrowing mess!  Those mazes are set up for a huge let down in our household.  For the number of years I can count, we have never been able to complete a maze without the above drama mentioned.  I secretly enjoy my kids getting “lost”, “misplaced”, and “disoriented” for short bouts while in the twisted mess of corn stalks.  It gives my husband and I a chance to get caught up on what’s going on in each other’s lives, you know, a small “date night” you could say.  But my time alone in a corn maze with my better half is very fleeting.  Soon after, we’re greeted with melodrama from all children…our 13 year old included.  As we load up into the car, I swear to myself, and all of my members, that we’re never doing this again; I can’t handle the stress!  But, we somehow return year after year. 

Or how about the costumes?  What ever happened to the ensemble where a sheet was good enough for a ghost? A black hat and broom from Mom’s closet was perfect for a witch, and a few dabbles of face paint, red nose, and wild hair later, a clown?  Ohhhh heck no! Not these days.  One must prepare all the way back into April for the one-night of festivities.  Why so elaborate?  Why so detailed?  And why so wickedly difficult to pull something together?  I own a sewing machine, but I never said I knew how to use the thing.  It’s all about “appearing” to have it all together in the face of my family.  All I have to say is, thank you Sweet Jesus for allowing Halloween City to be so close to my house. 

Let’s not forget the copious amounts of candy at the end of the night.  Not just smarties, bubble gum, jellybeans, or even licorice these days.  I’m talking, full on candy bars, and heaps of them.  After we get home from our neighborhood odyssey, which by the way, includes, even the houses where the porch lights are turned off, my children dump out their treasures for inspection.  Oh my Lord!, is usually what I mutter to myself.  I instantly begin to salivate, my heart rate skyrockets, and I start eyeing the pieces I know I’ll be stealing when they go to bed.  I’ve tried politely asking in the past, but I
get turned down.  Later, I ultimately take what I feel I “deserve” and when asked where the particular piece of candy is, I play dumb…real dumb.  I always allow my kids to enjoy their stash for only a number of days; it’s so bad for their teeth right?  After those allotted days, it gets thrown away, aka: Mom’s PMS stash from five kids hidden way up in her closet, behind the suitcase that’s never moved because she never goes on vacation, three shelves high.  And when Mom accesses that stash, she binges…binges real hard, enough so, that she swears off all candy for eternity; that rarely lasts but a few hours before she’s back at her binging ways again.

Here’s hoping your Halloween is as entertaining, amusing, and enjoyable as mine.  And if you happen to see me with smudges of chocolate around the corners of my mouth, please be understanding rather than judgmental.

*Article first appeared in Idaho Family Magazine

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